Last Autumn
I fell
now
the Year's revolution
has almost reached
the cyclical point
of that Fall

I can still taste
oppressive
November
tearful despair
striking everywhere
at any time
in a crowd
at the store
on the street
at my post

(that grey heaviness
forever linked
with those times
unpleasant reminder
of mistakes
misunderstandings
selfish strivings)

disintegrated
everything
burned off
but the Gold
making me into
even more
of a difformed
Misfit

I don't care
about shit
anymore
I care about
Light
Love
Visions
Vistas
Joy
like I
always did
now
exclusively

broken
completely
irrevocably
for my Day
and Age
unable
to stand for
the People's Poison

no more
to be drawn
into tense
scarecrow tragedies
unnecessary strife
ever repeated
renewals
of domination

always
before now
my head clouded
my heart buried alive
dragged down with worry
over other people
their feelings
and needs

(easy
encouraged
lazy way
of avoiding
everything)

generosity
twisted
out of shape
empathy
sullied
compassion
abused
love
made a slave

to go back
would be to die
somehow

so
smile with me in Love
or leave me Alone
walk on in
or walk on by