[April 5th 2022, afternoon]

my madness started at birth
that’s when I started buckling
under the weight of it all
the manifold pains
griefs
hungers
shocks
memories

I didn’t know better
I thought that was existence
this fearful loathing
this nauseous unease
propelling me into
hallucinated make-believes

it was the beginning
of a life outside
just close enough
to be aware
of all I was missing

I was deemed secretive
independent
quiet
while in fact I was dazed
frozen
mute