[April 20th, 2022]

seeing evil intents, portents of backwards-reaching deceptions & manipulations, master plans speeding past my ever oblivious eyes

i am but a stunned conduit for flowing currencies, a catalyst for impatience & disappointment, distancing waiting to happen

companions of all sorts sense my silent disquiet, and they hide & grow quiet, avoiding the uneasy disavowals

the graveyard sings out day & night, recursive numbed-out nightmare where giving up & in is the foregone conclusion

in a bad way, an illness of pervasive aftertastes & cold blankets, hounding with impunity

[April 15th 2022, 2:25 pm]

no place
no heart
where i am
missing

de trop
partout

overflowing
with nothingness
at the forefront
of Now

[14 avril 2022, 9:49 am]

je les vois
les écoute
les imagine
dans un temple
parmi les livres

se manifeste une proximité factice
des scénarios prennent forme
chastes fantasmes de paroles et de sourires
luminosités rarissimes désormais interdites
aux yeux de ce troglodyte taciturne

[April 12th, 2022, 5:40 pm]

no solution that will last
so I use what I have
going out to walk
the sun the wind the spire
ecstatic before the ugliness
radiating in its victory

feeding the fire
heartbreak and solitude
at the failure to communicate
or accept your conception
of the world

imagination and suicide
have the same motivation

[April 5th 2022, afternoon]

my madness started at birth
that’s when I started buckling
under the weight of it all
the manifold pains
griefs
hungers
shocks
memories

I didn’t know better
I thought that was existence
this fearful loathing
this nauseous unease
propelling me into
hallucinated make-believes

it was the beginning
of a life outside
just close enough
to be aware
of all I was missing

I was deemed secretive
independent
quiet
while in fact I was dazed
frozen
mute